I had a crisis of faith this weekend. What’s the quote about “…the harder they fall” ? I can’t remember the beginning, but I sure do relate with the end.
I am not a salesperson. There is a reason I left personal training: I had to sell to succeed, and I just could not bring myself to ask for a sale. I didn’t believe in myself enough. Since my major career change just over a year ago, I have learned to believe in myself and my mission. I have learned to be passionate, and that my belief in my cause is the number one reason that people believe in me.
I still don’t sell. My clients will never pay me for my services with anything other than gratitude. But I am learning that, regardless of business or industry, you must always sell yourself. And selling your SELF is much harder than selling a product because of the emotional connection we have to who we are and what we are worth.
It is absolutely true that your status in life is a direct reflection of how much you believe that you are worth. Somewhere, amidst all this growth and personal discovery, I have neglected to allow myself to be worth more. I was hit smack between the eyes this weekend by rejection when I stepped outside my comfort zone to market myself. It was the latest in a long line of rejection lately (and when I say long, I mean looo-o-o-o-ng) and it knocked me hard on my ass.
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I fully admit to laying in bed yesterday afternoon moping, crying and generally feeling sorry for myself, and continuing that trend for the better half of today. I took a long, hard look at myself and my situation and actually contemplated walking away from everything I have worked so hard to build in the past 13 months.
I am so incredibly grateful for the amazing leadership and mentors around me. A few key phone calls and text messages helped move me forward enough to clear my head and get me up again. While I am by no means ready to head out the door this afternoon and face those rotten demons and fear, I am feeling more put together and positive than I was even a few short hours ago.
Bloggie-friends, I was SO upset yesterday that I actually deleted my Facebook and Twitter apps from my iPhone. If that doesn’t reflect the gravity of the situation, I don’t know what does…
I’ve been living in a pool of strengths, but drowning in my weaknesses. I was starting to feel like such a fake, such a phony, such a big talker – someone who has everything in line to be great other than the practical application of her skills. The more I thought moped about it, the more I realized that was the reason I had walked away from failed at so many other career attempts. I have always been too smart for my own good – I can master a skill set or theory faster than most people, as conceited or self-serving as that may sound. It’s the truth. But what I lack is follow through, and in a business built on relationships, follow through is the golden action.
All the talk in the world won’t build a big, successful business and life if you don’t follow through on your actions. And while I’ve been told this many times, it never really hit home until about 3:30 this afternoon. People’s opinions don’t matter. Hearing “no” doesn’t matter. Struggling against common expectations doesn’t matter.
What matters is picking yourself up one more time than you fall.
I fell hard yesterday. It’s the closest I’ve ever come to quitting this journey. It seems silly to think that two rude people brought me to my knees that hard, but when you love something as much as I do, it seems impossible to fathom that you can’t touch everyone with your passion – even if they don’t need your service, shouldn’t they at least be moved by your spirit? Just enough to return a smile?
Unfortunately, the answer is no. And the more unfortunate part is that I have a sensitive heart that is open to the world for insult and injury. I have always taken the littlest things personally, and this latest situation quite literally brought me to my knees.
I let complete and total strangers determine my self-worth. I’m ashamed to admit I was so weak, but I was. I let two people bruise my heart and stream tears down my cheeks. But the key words are, “I LET”. I let them do that to me, instead of steeling myself against it and being insightful enough to know that business is about numbers and there will always be no’s. Some will be more harsh than others, but they are not a reflection of who I am or how well I do my job. I am incredible at what I do, but if I fight against the nay-sayers, it will be a losing battle for everyone.
Instead, I need to focus on those people I meet that appreciate and understand, and that every person who says “no” is simply the wrong person at the wrong time.
So, my crisis of faith is averted. I know today that I am on the path to greatness, and that I am doing something incredible and wonderful for myself, my family and my community as a whole. I hope that my readers can take something away from this for their own good as well; our struggles are not overcome by being selfish. Share, so that others may benefit from the mistakes you make.
And above all else, just keep swimming