Waking up at 5am to a quiet house leaves a lot of time for self-reflection. If I were in any other state of mind, I might be wary of what I will discover with all this free mind-time, but right now I am looking forward to it.
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It is giving me a chance to look at my actions from the previous day with raw evaluation. Everything is so fresh, and I am unhurried in my thoughts. It allows me to see my strengths and my faults, and moreover, my excuses.
I need to step up my game. I’ve been working on this so-called “40-hour work week” for almost 3 weeks, and I have very little to show for it. I read tweets coming in last night from 2 colleagues who cranked out some incredible activity in the late evening yesterday. The time of day isn’t as important as what they were doing. What did I do yesterday?
Well, I did go into the office for product training, even though there was no team meeting afterwards due to the Kelowna event. I’m proud of that. But afterwards? I picked up my girls early (even though I paid for a full day of childcare) and went home. We relaxed on the porch in the unseasonal warmth and watched Princess & the Frog. I did not make a single phone call or email, drop in on a single client, or meet a new prospective client. Zip. Nada. And the whole time, this little voice in the back of my head was admonishing me for being so childish.
Childish is exactly what it was – that grown-up attitude of “I can do what I want because I’m my own boss”. The laziness that comes with eating a box of Froot Loops for a day because you are old enough to make your own decisions. At the end of the day, all you have is a stomach ache and a grey-green tongue.
This morning, I might as well have a grey-green tongue for all my “grown-up” attitude yesterday.
I know that I have difficulty pushing myself when no one is watching. That is part of the reason I keep a public blog – for accountability. But I think I need to pop one of Derrick’s suck-it-up-buttercup pills and act like a grown up. I need to stop procrastinating and start DOING. Stop planning and start DOING.
I’m going over to Julia’s for part of today to work, and I have a list of about 10 people that I need to call. I will check in later and let you know how it went. I will also try and drum up a few more leads. We are ending our office hours early today, so I will take the bugz and go around to some businesses in town that I’ve been meaning to pop in on. And no matter how tired I am, I WILL go out from 6-10pm tonight, like I am supposed to do, regardless of how tired I am from waking up a 5am.
I made a list of goals, but until I start putting some hard work under them they will only be dreams. Goals are only achieved through action, so it’s time for me to stop dreaming and start acting on them.