What a week … sigh.
I am glad that it is over, and that I am standing on the edge of a long weekend to myself. Yes, it’s pouring rain, but I am hoping that will mean two things: I will get my house spic-n-span clean, and I will get my office life organized and beautiful for Monday. I am also hoping that at least one day is dry so that I can PLANT MY GARDEN!
Yes, folks, my garden is still sadly lacking. I have seedlings that are outgrowing their seed pots and much dirt still needing to be worked/raked/fixed into some form of living matter. It’s hard work taming 20 feet of neglect!! I have potted my container plants though – strawberries, peas, beans, lettuce and spinach. Everyone is loving this rain too – our land is exploding with green
I am finally feeling human again. All that remains is my classic seal-bark cough, but considering that I haven’t worked out in about 2 months, I’ll take all the abdominal exercise it can bring me
I’m going to start running again once my cough has cleared up. I realized that my life needs more balance than just work and family time – I need my “me” time as well. Although I have a lot of time to myself, it isn’t always just for me. Ultimately, I’ve become very burnt out lately – not from having too much
to do, but rather from having too little
to do. I really to thrive of variety and busyness. Let’s face it: I’m a Gemini, and while you may not put much stock into that, I know that it means that I become bored easily when there are not a million things to entertain me.
I was the child who packed a car bag for roadtrips with no less than the following: Walkman, 5+ cassette tapes, 3+ books, crayons, paper, colouring books, a doll, some type of mess-free craft, a journal, several pens, and at one point those little magnetic board games. And still, we wouldn’t be out of Calgary before I announced that I was bored. I need mental stimulation, and I need a lot of it.
My extracurricular activities as a child included: dance, gymnastics, piano, band, Brownies/Girl Guides, swimming, volunteer work, babysitting, part-time jobs, etc. I also spent a lot of time with my friends, read more books than I can count, wrote countless stories, poems and journals, maintained an Honour Roll for 12 years (that’s 48 quarterly Honour Rolls), and pursued other interests in addition to those.
Are you exhausted yet?
In my first year of studies at NAIT, I went to school from 8-3 every day, waitressed at 2 different restaurants, rehearsed twice a week for the Edmonton Rush and performed on weekends, joined an amateur dance company and taught for 2 separate dance schools all while maintaining a 4.0 GPA – I actually only received two marks below 90 in my entire 2 year program.
I don’t repeat all of this to brag. Rather, I want to bring attention to the trend that I do my best and succeed when I my life is full-to-bursting. Some call it lack of focus, maybe even lack of discipline. I call it a creative mind. I need input to balance my output. No input = no output. I work best under a deadline, with strict guidelines but only if I have a world of outside opportunities waiting to reward me once I have finished. My work is always top-notch, but the success is even sweeter when I pull it out of thin air in the nick of time. I am an adrenaline junkie of the nerdiest persuasion. Give me many chores and watch me make magic; give me one large task and I’ll wander away listlessly like the bored little child I am.
You can imagine how lethargic I felt this week, cooped up with this stomach-bug-turned-cold. Having committed myself 100% to work, I didn’t even have a novel at my disposal to ignite the fires of my imagination, and all the leadership and personal growth books and audio couldn’t propel me out of bed or off the couch. I have realized (in all my hours of staring at the walls self-reflection) that there are things in life which motivate us, but there are also things that nurture us, and it important not to assume that both are one and the same. And if we are not nurtured, we cannot be motivated, for motivation only happens when there is an belief of safety in one’s actions.
What nurtures me? Music, literature, photography, writing, gardening, running, yoga, clean lifestyles and my family. What motivates me? My family, the mission of my business, my colleagues and my desire to excel. Two very different lists, and yet one cannot exist without the other. If I fail to nurture my soul, then I cannot hope to succeed in life. It would be a shallow, empty victory for all involved. So this weekend, I will take the time to nurture myself and to allow inspiration to seep back into my actions. I’m going to learn again how to have my cake and eat it too.
Happy long weekend