Monthly Archives: September 2010

Oh Johnny!

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This is Johnny cake:

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It’s like cornbread, but better.  It’s one of those long-lost childhood comfort foods that was made often enough to remember, but rare enough to be special.  My mom would make it at night, and I remember it hot and dripping with syrup.  It was almost a different cake the next day, but still oh so tasty!
I was talking to my Gramma on the phone tonight and stealing chocolate chips out of the pantry when I noticed that we had a lot of cornmeal.  Leith is working late, and I was missing dance class anyway so I decided to try my hand at Johnny cake.
Let me tell you this: there are many interpretations of Johnny cake on the internet!  It took me a few minutes to find one that seemed right to what I remembered.  I whipped it up and wondered aloud to my Gramma why it barely covered the bottom of an 8×8 pan.  She went to look for her recipe and left me to talk to my Grampa, who had the ingenious idea of looking on the back of the cornmeal bag!  Smart guy that he is, there was a recipe right there and it was quite different from mine.  Gramma found hers and it was also quite different and had a couple ingredients that I don’t have on hand.
I took a chance and threw my internet recipe into the oven and the result was pretty good!  Not as fluffy as my mom and Gramma’s, but still really good with melted butter and maple syrup – a little crispy, and a bit saltier than I remember but in a good way.  It was a little dry, though.  The recipe said 30 minutes, and I took it out at 23 minutes.  20 minutes would have been perfect, I think.
Here is the recipe:
Combine Dry ==>
3/4c all purpose flour
1+1/4c cornmeal
1tsp baking soda
1/2tsp salt
2tbsp sugar
Mix Wet ==>
1/4c melted butter (or shortening, or just oil)
1/4c vinegar
2 eggs, beaten
Combine wet and dry until just moist.  Bake in an 8×8 pan for 20 minutes at 400 degrees.  Serve with melted butter and syrup!!  Even better with a glass of whole milk…but make sure you work out the next day!
I’ll try my Gramma’s recipe and the one on the cornmeal bag and let you know which one wins ;)

(Im)perfect

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There has been a stunning blog post circulating lately about the problem with perfection.  As a self-proclaimed “perfectionist”, I fell in love with it – not only because it is hard to try to be perfect all the time, but because the guilt that embraces me when I fall short is debilitating sometimes.  And when I say debilitating, I mean debilitating – hours of sleep lost, nausea, panic, anxiety over the stupidest things like forgetting to reply to an email or putting off a relatively simple task.

In honour of casting off the shackles of perfection, I present you with my confessions: _uacct = “UA-4888259-1″;urchinTracker();

  • We don’t have cable TV (or even country cable), but my kids watch too many movies.  I monitor what they watch, but they’ve still watched the Little Mermaid three times today
  • There are days on end that I don’t eat a single fruit or vegetable, unless grains count
  • I am 15-20lbs overweight right now, and I should be on my own azz about it, but I can be so slovenly and lazy
  • I nap too often, and I spend too much time on the computer
  • I spank my kids
  • I yell in front of them, and at them
  • I lose my temper too much and swear WAY too much
  • I tend to criticize people who are too much like me for me to comfortably admit
  • I wish I was more focused and sometimes worry that I’m a little bit ADD
  • I pretend to be far more perfect that I really am
  • I give up too easily and avoid conflict too often
  • I am selfish and sometimes forget to ask Leith what he needs and wants
  • I forget to brush my kids’ teeth all the time.  Days go by…
  • I put their hair in ponytails because I’m too lazy to comb through the curly knots
  • I have a really hard time admitting I am wrong, especially when I am embarrassed
  • I’ll spend money on books that I could get from the library for free because I am a book snob and I like being the first to read something, even when we are so flat broke that my husband can’t go for a haircut
  • On that note, I forget to budget for his sometimes-expenses like haircuts but not my own
  • I let my ego identify with too many things when I should just “be”
  • I am proud and stubborn to a fault, and it causes more problems than it’s worth
  • Lately, I’ve been forgetting a lot about what I learned in therapy for controlling my temper and my reactions.  I know better :(
  • I stand up for things I believe in on my blog, but in real life I keep my opinions to myself because I can’t stand conflict
  • I spend far too much time online and not nearly enough outdoors
  • I drink too much wine when it’s available, and that bugs me because I won’t drink it if it’s not in the house, so why do I feel the need to drink it all when it is??
  • The same goes for treats and junk food
  • I say I hate everything that McDonald’s and Wal-Mart stand for, yet I still spend money there.  I hate being a hypocrite and my actions say otherwise
  • I say “no more kids” but the truth is that I’m just terrified of something worse happening to me if I got pregnant again.  At the same time, I know that it’s just my anxiety and that everything would probably be fine
  • “I wish” and “I do” fall very far apart in many areas of my life.  I need to make my actions reflect my words
  • I know a lot about health and nutrition, and yet my own diet and lifestyle say otherwise
  • I am so lazy about feeding my kids!  Yes, it’s all organic and unprocessed, but it can be very unbalanced too
  • It IS hard some days.  Other days, I exaggerate how hard it is
  • Yes, I’ve peed in a swimming pool
  • My minivan is a pit of garbage hell that I have tried to keep clean for a few months, but it’s threatening to creep up on me
  • I always have dirty dishes in the sink and crumbs on the floor.  I rarely vacuum my basement
  • I’m a picker.  I pick at everything.
But do you know what?  Despite all of that, I think that I am still perfect.  I think we are all perfect.  We are all perfect reflections of who we are – it’s just the image we project out into the world that is imperfect.  If I did everything right all the time, it would leave little opportunity for improvement – and without that feeling of accomplishment, life would be pretty bland. 

Carrots!

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Yes, yes I did. _uacct = “UA-4888259-1″;urchinTracker();

I canned carrots!  Yay me!
Between my food co-op and my garden, I have been overrun with carrots this year.  Some were very large and others were very, very small, and altogether there were more carrots than I wanted to eat.
I’m not a huge carrot-eater.  Occasionally I like steamed carrots.  I’m not a carrot stick girl.  Too many carrots thus equals a problem in the house.  However, I luuuuuuurve dill carrots.  My mom used to make them when I was little.  
Fortunately, I was recently inspired by Crystal and Heather’s canning-capades so I bought 12-1L jars at Safeway when I was buying groceries on Friday.  One cold rainy Tuesday later and voila!
Just in case anyone is feeling ambitious, here is how I did it:
*Wash 10 gadzillion carrots.  Let soak in 4 cups of water and 1/2 cup of coarse salt overnight … or just for an hour if you’re lazy like me ;)

*Sterilize jars by boiling them in water.  Or, be lazy like my mom and just pour boiling water over them. I don’t know where my kettle is, so I opted to go the “traditional” route which once again made me happy that I didn’t bottle-feed my kids – ha!  You can also buy a canner, which looks like it would be a lot easier… oh well.


*BRINE: Boil 3 quarts (12 cups) water, 1 quart (4 cups) white vinegar and 1 cup of coarse salt.  I actually needed to make an extra cup of water/vinegar/salt to fill my jars…just sayin’
*Lightly pack jars with carrots, dill weed and a couple cloves of peeled garlic.  The garlic is optional and not at all in the recipe, but I remember seeing garlic at the bottom of my mom’s jars so I added it to mine!  My hands stink now…
*Fill jars with brine and twist lids on
*Boil jars to seal and store in a cool place.  Again, a canner would be nice here…I just used my giant stock pot with the colander insert and boiled 2 jars at a time.  It worked.  Make sure the centres of the lids pop down so you know they are sealed!
I used burgundy carrots in 4 of the jars and I love how pinky-purple they turned the brine!  So pretty :)  
Next on my list is radish relish and pickled beets.  I hate pickled beets, but Leith and my mom like them, so they’d better eat them.  Again, just sayin’ ;)  I also want to make salsa in the 1-litre jars, but I’m not sure if I can find that many tomatoes!  We shall see…
Happy canning :)

A near miss…

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Oh, the horror. _uacct = “UA-4888259-1″;urchinTracker();

Oh, the devastation!
I nearly lost my baby on Friday night!  And by “baby” I mean this sweet, beautiful laptop, not an actual child of mine.  But it’s a fine line…
My hard drive died.  Like, died died.  There one minute, toast the next.  I was awash in panic.  Let us not speak the price of a new MacBook…  Let us not talk about how we are already pinching pennies for Christmas…  Let us not dwell on the fact that life ceases to exist without my computer…
And let us not speak of the maternity pictures that I’d been editing.
Fortunately, I have the originals backed up and also still on the memory card.  Phew.
So praying the for the best and preparing for the worst, I took my beloved to the Apple store.  With labour, a new hard drive was only $287.  WAHOO!!  But even better?  They dropped the labour AND replaced my chipped keyboard and casing for FREE.  Grand total?  $160-ish. 
Ahhh happiness :)
But here’s the part that really, really sucks: the new plastic smell of my keyboard draws up this olfactory haunting of when my MacBook was new and I was freshly pregnant, sick as a dog and laid up on the couch for 2 weeks after I rolled our quad.
The smell of my almost-new laptop is making my body have phantom morning sickness.  It’s disgusting.  How did I live like this for 34 weeks??  Ughhh…  Then, to boot, today was a hot autumn day.  There is this odd smell that my upholstery lets off – very plasticky and chemically – when it is hot out and my Jeep did the same thing.  I used to nap in the back of my Jeep at the gym when I was pregnant.  That smell, and the laptop smell are the two scents that instantly make me nauseous.  Together on the same day?  Sickening.
Disclaimer: there is no possible way that I am in any way “with child” right now.  Physically impossible.  Just in case you are speculating like a crazy person.  Physically and physiologically impossible.
That being said, I have to stop blogging because this shallow breathing through my mouth is making me dizzy.
But I have a practically new laptop, so it’s all good :)  Here’s to another 3 years of Mac-full bliss!

A smattering…

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…never let your husband experiment by picking out a new wine.  Sugary wine + hot tub + dehydration = not feeling so hot today. _uacct = “UA-4888259-1″;urchinTracker();

…don’t let the same husband experiment with not paying traffic tickets, because it will cost an extra $300 to register the minivan of doooom.  Hence the wine peace-offering he had to bring me last night…
…be happy when your “size 8″ wedding dress zips almost all the way up after 3.5 years and an extra 20lbs!  Especially when you know that wedding-dress-8 equals a real-life 6 or 4
…enjoy sleeping in a twin-size bed with your youngest little twin
…few things in life are as enjoyable as realizing that your husband left a little more than a cup of coffee in the pot for you :)  More enjoyable when you get to drink it by the fire :) :)
…today I am going to learn about Spanx, pick up my rent cheques and run a few other errands in the old neighbourhood!
…and a trip to the AMA to pick up more free road maps for my dad, since I couldn’t get back yesterday due to impending meltdowns
…Starbucks brought back their Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate, which means I have to get to more dance classes next week so that I can enjoy it’s sweet/salty goodness!
…October 1st will be the first day of “preschool” in our home – starting a preschool homeschool curriculum for the 2-year olds!
…does laundry ever end?  No?  Okay…
…I want to buy a piece of plywood or OSB board and cover it in fabric to make a funky headboard.  I lack the discipline to make that happen though
…C-boo just found my copy of Le Petit Prince, which has me thinking about a new 101 in 1001 task list.  Hmmm…
Have a wonderful weekend!  I am excited to be teaching Salsa Burn and Fit Hop Kidz tomorrow, and hopefully crashing a couple trade shows in Spruce Grove!  It’s also Bridal Bash, so I can’t wait to have pictures from that to share.  I have another photo shoot on Sunday and maternity pics to finish editing so I can order them!!

2.5

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2.5 years…30 months…914 days old!!  Plus the last 15 days that I am late in posting this, of course!! _uacct = “UA-4888259-1″;urchinTracker();

Since I stopped doing my monthly portraits of the bugz in January, I’ll admit that I’ve been a little lazy about posting updates for the the ravenous loving great-grandparents :)  The bugz change so much every day that it is an overwhelming list to think about, and yet the “milestones” are further in between, so a monthly update seems redundant.

So, at 2.5 years old:

*They are almost potty-trained!!  We still have the occasional accident, and pull-ups are an overnight must, but I can take them out of the house without diapers!  Yaaaaa!
*They both have very extensive vocabularies.  Kit-kat still talks more than C-boo, but they are pretty equal in terms of what they know
*We have gone to a bunch of parented dance classes, and they love dancing :)  They love to see the kids and listen to the music.  The actual listening and following instructions doesn’t happen in class, but I catch them singing, talking about class and doing actions at home.  For more on delayed reaction in toddlers, you can read this great blog post – it’s very normal for kids to spend more time observing at this age than to actually do things the first time!
*Speaking of dance, they are slowly learning to recognize when Mommy is the teacher versus when they are allowed to participate
*They both know how to use a fork and spoon, but sometimes they are just lazy.  I don’t really mind.  Developmentally, I know that they will be able to do it when they are older.  Right now, they’re just kids!  Let them explore, I say!!
*I am trying to teach them about manners and being nice and listening to what Mommy or Daddy says … some days I get through to them, other days I beat my head against the wall.  Sigh… But they are getting better with their “please” and “thank you” and with either saying or hugging for “I’m sorry”
*They sing along to songs and movies!!  Kit-kat is definitely the singer of the two, but C-boo has started singing as well.  It is absolutely adorable!!
*The little imaginations are so fun to watch :)  I love watching them play in their kitchen with their “cakes” while they are “eating”.  They also like to play in their Barbie house, crawling into it instead of playing with the dolls!  They will play with the dolls (their “pretty dancers” or “beautiful princesses”) elsewhere, leaving a huge mess wherever they go
*Yes, that’s right, they are total princess girls but they also love to play outside and love going to the park.  There is a community park at the school in our area that is completely enclosed all the way up to the highest platforms so that they can’t fall anywhere but can explore to their hearts’ content!
*As I mentioned in a previous post, we have discovered how nice toddler-wearing is at this age and development stage – they get to see everything from an adult’s viewpoint and it isn’t scary or overwhelming to learn about new places and faces!!
*I think that they are hovering around the 25lb mark, but we only have annual check-ups now so you’ll have to wait until March.  They wear size 2 clothes and size 6 shoes.  They are definitely growing because the pants we bought mid-summer are already short…
*C-boo has mastered the 2-foot jump!  This is a big milestone, and I love watching her jump :)  Kit-kat is pretty close, but it’s still a bit more of a gallop
*We are soooo at the stage in the game where I want to constantly correct and discipline, but I need to step back, breathe and remember that they are exploring and if they want to put all my Tupperware in the pantry, it’s okay.  It’s okay…
*Favourites:  The Wiggles (music), Sharon Lois & Bram (music), Salsa Tots (music and class), Tinkerbell (movie – thank goodness there is finally a new one!!), and The Little Mermaid (movie).  We haven’t bought any new books in months, which is just awful but they seem to be content reading their old ones.  
*I can’t remember the last time we used a stroller.  If I have to go anywhere congested, I use their bug & bee backpacks with a leash.  People are much more forgiving of twins on leashes that single kids it seems – I get more looks of approval that disgust!!
*Kit-kat twists her hair with her fingers and creates both beautiful curls and wicked knots
*Let’s talk about tempers … actually, let’s not
*They have learned a few numbers and letters.  We are starting a pre-school homeschooling curriculum next week for 2-year olds.  It’s a lot like the workbooks my mom used for me, but I can print off the sheets for free rather than wasting money on overpriced colouring books ;)
All in all, we are surviving the Terrible Twos.  I can sense their warm-up to the Trying Threes, and I’m not sure how that will go.  Hopefully we all come out unscathed.  I am starting to see why parents over-schedule their kids outside the home ha ha!! 
I’ll be taking some pictures of them in their pretty fall dresses soon, and I promise to post lots :)

Consumer conflict

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Now, I will fully admit that I have been up on my soapbox a lot this month :)  It’s not that I’m feeling feisty though – I just have had a lot of thoughts running through my mind about everything from parenting to religion to plain old what to eat for dinner!  My dilemma on coffee yesterday brought about an interesting train of thought to my already overburdened head, so you’ll have to forgive me for thinking writing out loud ;) _uacct = “UA-4888259-1″;urchinTracker();


If you are long-time reader of my blog, you will know that I am very passionate about the triumvirate of food in my world: organic, local and clean.  Having read and researched and talked about this for a while now, I know that it is what is best for my family and that with a little bit of work, it could be made right for almost any family.  I mean, after all – isn’t that the kind of food that human beings have survived on for thousands upon thousands of years??  This whole global food system is truly less than a century old.  Don’t get me wrong though – I have yet to find away to eat organic, local and clean 100% of the time.  I try to have most of my food meet at least one of those criterion, if not two.  The home run is great when I can get it, but I’m far from perfect and sometimes I just want to eat marshmallows!

But that isn’t my point today.  Far too much organic, fair trade coffee running through these veins is making me  easily distracted again…

My point is this:  our dollars spent affect change more so than any protesting or preaching will.  Case in point: Greenpeace in the oilsands.  God love ‘em for what they are trying to do, but the point is lost when you realize they had to drive up there … see what I mean?  So when I shop, I want my money to do the talking for where I stand ethically because ultimately, it is the consumer who drives the demand.  I believe in fair trade, I discourage sweat-shop production and I dislike multi-national corporations, but sometimes I am faced with hard choices and feel backed into a corner by my conscience and my pocketbook.  

What really got me thinking is the idea of shopping at Walmart or Superstore, versus my local food store or Farmers’ market.  I try to make a lot of my purchases count locally, whether it be at the markets or simply by shopping a locally owned and operated stores.  There are certain things that I refuse to budge on too – I won’t buy my meat unless I know the farmer, and I will not buy coffee that isn’t fair trade.  No grey area there!  There are times, however, when it makes sense to shop at the discount chains, like when you are comparison shopping for the same item: doesn’t it make more sense to save a few bucks at Superstore on some Crayola crayons, versus paying more for them elsewhere?  But then there are also the things that you go to Walmart or Superstore for because their in-house line is cheaper, and that is where my personal conflict lies:
Now, given the choice I would rather shop local but there are times when it just is not feasible for me!   The biggest dilemma I’ve been facing (which is rather small compared to the woes of the world, but humour me…) has been regarding winter boots for my bugz.  Oh that I wish I could have children of different ages and enjoy the magic of hand-me-downs!!  I would shell out the money for high-quality clothes if I knew they would be worn by 2 or 3 kids, for more than 2 or 3 months before heading to Goodwill.  Alas, these 2 monkeys wear the same size shoes/boots/whatever, which leads me to buying 2 of everything seasonal: 2 bathing suits, 2 spring coats, 2 pairs of rubber boots, 2 pairs of sandals, 2 pairs of snowsuits, 2 pairs of winter boots … 10 million pairs of socks and mittens that get lost … you get the idea.
There are lots of Canada-made companies to outfit my cute little girls, but because of their small market, the prices are, ahem, high.  And rightfully so: they are providing a superior product without it being at the expense of 4-year old slaves in developing countries.  I do splurge here and there on things that I know will last us awhile or that are for special occasions.  When I get right down to it though, I simply cannot afford to buy 2 pairs of $60 boots each winter.  I wish I could, but I quite simply cannot spend $120 on winter boots!  So instead, I find myself bargain hunting through the Walmarts and Superstores for boots that are under $20 a pair.  Even that, dear readers, is a rare find.  $25/pair seems to be the going rate.
Thus, the conflict of conscience versus economy.  Where do I draw the line?  Is it okay to buy them cheap, exploitative merchandise for the benefit of being able to pay the rest of my bills?  Can I soothe my conscience by knowing that I would buy the more ethical merchandise if I were able to use it longer, thus recouping the cost over time?  Or am I just copping out of my ethical standpoint?  Can one “stock up” on good karma in other areas to smooth over the sometimes-necessary transgressions needed to maintain a healthy bank account during lean times, or is it an all-or-none situation?
So much grey.  I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions, or your own solutions to this problem!

For today…

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Outside my window … the sun is finally shining.  I don’t know how long it was cloudy for, but it was too long.  I’m starting to up my vitamin D in preparation for the shorter days, but even with that I’ve been feeling very restless and irritable with the weather!! _uacct = “UA-4888259-1″;urchinTracker();

I am thankful for … balance in so many areas of life: the balance between ethics and income, the balance between work and home, the balance between family and life.  I am also thankful for a husband who wakes up early to light a fire in our little woodstove and makes sure that it is nice a hot before bed so that we are using less natural gas!
I am creating … a bunch of maternity pictures from the shoot I did on September 11.  I normally walk away with 40-50 shots, but this one has 75!!  It’s taking a little longer than usual but I am enjoying them immensely :)
I am celebrating … fall, and surviving another stressful summer.  I love the sense of accomplishment that comes with harvest time, whether you’ve been growing food or not.  There is such a hum of activity and enjoyment in the air that I just love!
I am wearing … Sherrie’s green sweats!  She passed them on to me and I love them.  They are a gawd-awful kelly green, but they are soooo comfy.  I’m just impressed that I can actually squeeze into them LOL!
I am reading … Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Neffeneger  <== I'm sure I spelled that wrong.  She is the author of my favourite book, The Time Traveller’s Wife, and this story captures the same timeless love and heartache that her first book did.  I am head-over-heels for it – it is beautiful.
I am hoping … that my Parkland classes fill up for H.A.W.T. Momma!  It would mean a lot for us to have at least 2 full sessions in before Christmas.  Fingers crossed!
I am hearing … the dishwasher running and the fire crackling
Around the house and yard … a few more vegetables to bring in (no pumpkins, unfortunately), laundry to continuously tackle and floors to wash.  Leith and I did devise a kitchen-cleaning co-op, so dishes have been done every day and night for a couple weeks now!  Yay!  I love having a consistently clean kitchen :)
One of my favourite things … getting up on my soapbox.  I’ve been doing a lot of that lately, haven’t I?  I just have a few too many things that I am passionate about, and I believe in the power of compassionate awareness – that is, sharing my opinions without forcing others to do the same.  I think that sometimes, people just don’t realize what’s going on around them.
A few plans for the rest of the week … Salsa Burn and Bollywood classes tonight, a quick meet-up with my Dad at the AMA today (getting him maps, paying my van registration…), Salsa Burn and FitHop tomorrow, and Mel’s Bridal Bash on Saturday night!!  Yes, that’s right: a chance to wear my wedding dress and party with a whole bunch of other wives, 20lbs after the fact!  Should be an interesting squeeze … maybe I ought to have gone for a lace-up gown instead of a zipper ;)
Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you:
Kit-kat, pretending she is Ariel from The Little Mermaid

Change of lifestyle…

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If I were to name on thing that I miss now that we are practicing a more frugal lifestyle, it would be coffee.  Don’t get me wrong – I am still drinking coffee like it’s water.  Ha!  Can you imagine if I actually gave that up??  But I have to go buy more today and am faced with a dilemma.  Fair trade, organic coffee runs $12+/pound.  Regular coffee is a fair bit cheaper.  Do I forgo my ethics and knowledge of what fair trade means to me, not to mention organic, or do I stick to my budget guns??  I am already sacrificing my supermarket produce and dry goods purchases in favour of cost right now, so can I salvage my coffee in exchange??

It’s not even the organic that I need in my coffee – it’s the fair trade.  It’s the fact that it’s ethically purchased directly from farmers rather than whored out at auction to the lowest bidder (*cough*TimHortons*cough*).  The price difference reflects something that I care about, knowing how the coffee market works.  It’s one of the reasons that I support Starbucks so much – I know how much thought goes into buying ethical beans.  The coffee industry is really sick when you get into the mass production end of it – practically raping the farmers that work to grow it.
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Ethics, or immediate personal family financial relief?  What to do, what to do?
And all this coming from someone who loves to shop at Walmart and Superstore because it’s cheap.  That’s about as unethical as consumerism gets!  I’m just a contradiction wrapped in an anomaly.  
I guess I should just be grateful that the rest of our lifestyle consciousness is falling into place easier than my coffee dilemma!  It is much easier to be conscious of things like impulse buys, driving into town without reason or multiple times a day, and comparison shopping.  It was easy to decide to end our dayhome agreement (well, easy in a money sense, hard in a relationship sense).  It was easy to decide to change energy providers and research home phone providers for a better deal.  
Coffee though?  That’s like the last frontier of my spending.  It’s attached to my soul.
Heck, a few more cups and it will probably replace my soul soon enough.  Or at least replace my blood ;)

***
An update:  I did find President’s Choice Organic Fair Trade coffee at Superstore today!!  At only $8/lb, it makes me very happy to find the happy medium between upholding my beliefs and sticking to our goals!  Yay!