One of my favourite business and relationship books is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. I have returned to his words time and time again, looking for reassurance or guidance for handling a sticky situation. _uacct = “UA-4888259-1″;urchinTracker();
I call it both a business and relationship book because, while the stories are directed at business people, the truth behind them transcends all relationships. It is actually stocked in the self-help section of many bookstores for that reason. I shied away from it for many years because of the title: it seemed smug and presumptuous, as though “influence” equalled bullying or tricking someone to your side. After reading it, however, I learned that “win” was in the purest sense of the word, and influence was in a positive light – it was a course on how nice guys truly can finish first with integrity, compassion and decency in the public eye.
I’ve taken it to heart in the 2 years since I first read it. The most memorable concept in the entire book, for me, is this:
“A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall”
Truth be told, the quote is actually attributed to Abraham Lincoln, but it was one of the cornerstone’s of Carnegie’s book. It is also a keystone to how I chose to run my business. I think that a person has to mature a certain degree, both personally and professionally before he or she can truly appreciate the depth of this concept. After all, sharp and defamatory words are only good for flash and sizzle appeal. Ultimately, words spoken publicly will shape the public’s words about your business.
Let me just say (for those of you who are new to the blog!) that I am a very competitive creature. I thrive on competition, and I think that is why I always gravitate towards my own business opportunities rather than life as an employee. I love using competition as a way to keep my standards in check – after all, competition is what allows the economy to flourish!
Let me specify: an company without competition stands unchecked. It can claim prestige, expertise and reputation because there is no other company to inform consumers otherwise. Competition is both healthy and necessary to create quality services and products.
Now, once we’ve established competition, we must be cognizant of how we treat our competition. Just like a school-yard bully loses the respect of his peers, so does a company whose spokespeople defame its competition. A company should be able to stand on the merits of its own achievements without belittling the achievements of its colleagues’. Trash-talk only serves to undermine the integrity of a company or professional and does little to create brand loyalty.
Conversely, a company should feel confident enough in its quality of service or product to know that actions speak louder than words. If you are offering a superior experience, your clients should be testimony enough without undermining the efforts of your competitor. Ultimately, successful reputations are built on what you do, who you are and what you say.
For that reason, I refuse to outwardly discourage people from my competitors. Oh, don’t get me wrong – I will tout our strengths, mission, vision and philosophies. However, I will stop there and will not compare my business or my services to my competition. I am not the PR representative for that company, and my opinion will be biased for obvious reasons. I will simply state that they have been around for ‘x’ number of years and have a dedicated following. I cannot offer any more or any less than that because it isn’t within the scope of my knowledge.
My place is to promote my business: providing safe, gentle fitness alternatives for new and expectant mothers that focus on personal growth and gradual improvement over time. I will promote my education because it is something that I value. I will promote my certifications because they were the product of my education and the values instilled by my mentors. I will promote my partner because I know that she values the same core principles of pre- and postnatal wellness and sound structural development that I believe in.
I will welcome any and all competition, because I know that my presence will challenge them to do their very best and they will, in turn, do the same for me. I will not refute their business publicly because that is not my place. It damages my integrity, and a business that resorts to defensive behaviour will always look small.
My job is to offer the best, safest experience for my clients, not to comment on the practices of my competition. Their reputation will speak for itself, as my reputation speaks for me.
But I am ALSO thinking about going to see part one of the last Harry Potter movie at midnight tonight! Eeep!!! Hopefully the roads will be a lot clearer and quieter at that time 
