I feel like I have too much caffeine coursing through my system. If you know me, though, you’ll know that that is a hard state for me to achieve. It takes a good deal more than 2 or 3 cups of coffee, 4 or 5 hours ago to create the racing heart and sweaty palms I’m feeling. _uacct = “UA-4888259-1″;urchinTracker();
Add in my injured shoulder creating mock tension, and you’d think I was a basket case
No, I’m not hyper or sitting on the edge of a panic attack. I’m just getting ready to leave for 4 days.
It doesn’t even matter that my family is staying behind, although I definitely feel my Mommy-guilt setting in. No, I get like this before any big event. It’s the edgy, anxious, snappy, grouchy cloud that follows me around while I check on last minute things hours before I need to.
It’s the little voice in my head that check/double-checks the airport parking information and recalculates the driving time from our acreage for the 5th time. I hate being late, you know.
As Leith so sweetly put it this morning: ”You don’t handle change well, do you?”
But it’s true: I love knowing my routine and my schedule, and as much as I love travelling and escaping for a while, the change knocks me off course. I can control my actions, but that’s about it. Everything else is unknown, up in the air and waiting to happen.
Oh, and don’t worry: I don’t spend time stressing about what to do if the airline loses my luggage, or if our reservation is cancelled. I am far too preoccupied with wondering whether Leith will remember to send an extra change of clothes to the day home, or if my travelling friends will be ready to go at 5am, or before….? I worry about whether we will be able to check into our room at 11am, or if we’ll have to check our luggage.
Oh my goodness, I am even worried about suggesting we go to the Apple store because I want to get my iPad 2 but I don’t want to inconvenience my friends.
LOL! It really is ridiculous, isn’t it? I mean, I have the clarity and self-awareness to realize that. I also have the sense to know that I will have a great time, the 4 days will fly by, and all my worry will have been for naught.
Oh, anxiety-ridden brain. You really do make it hard on us, don’t you? Truthfully, this time tomorrow I will be basking in the sun somewhere in the beautiful city of Las Vegas. I’ll be over-analyzing some new trivial thought, but it won’t matter because it will be 23 degrees ABOVE zero.
It will be wonderful.
Now, to check my packing list and shopping lists for the last time….