I am frustrated emotionally, spiritually, professionally, physically and mentally.

Ever corner of my life seems to be fraught with contradiction and negativity.  I am trying SO hard to block the things and people causing this disruption, but it feels very hard today.  I am trying to look for the personal growth in the situations, instead of giving in to the pity-party edging on to the sidelines.

I am trying to find things to laugh about.  

I am trying very hard to keep some perspective.

I am feeling utterly defeated.  This chest cold came out of nowhere and settled in nicely for what looks like a good, long stay.  Well, at least a longer stay than I’d appreciate.  I don’t expect to be rushed off to the hospital any time soon  But it was kind of the last throw down in a week of defeat.  It’s knocking me when I’m already down.

Ohhhh, I just want to curl up and whine and moan about my life right now! The thing is, it isn’t a bad life, so I don’t really want to whine.  I just want to be trivial and petty and judgemental for a day or two.  

Catch-22: all that negativity will just compound.  I don’t like putting out what I can’t afford to receive from this world.  But in the haze of sickness, my brain is so tired that it doesn’t feel like analyzing or justifying or making the world a better place.

My brain wants someone to step up and do the dirty work for me, to sludge through this slump and have me wake up healthy and happy with all my problems solved.

Wouldn’t it be nice?

So in the meantime, I am going to keep my negativity under wraps as best I can, go buy groceries and get (another) good night’s sleep tonight.  Hopefully I feel better soon.