Suffice it to say, there’s been a little bit of drama in the webisphere this past week. It’s a shame, because I’d really like to spend my days riding the high that is my life and not get sucked into people’s past choices.

I’m a live-in-the-present, plan-for-the-future kind of girl. I really don’t enjoy reliving my past, and I really don’t enjoy having it shoved down my throat, especially when I’ve come to terms with how everything played out. In case you’ve forgotten, my general stance on drama is to walk away.

Unfortunately, it seems that the land of the interwebz has forgotten the code of conduct and is trying to blow itself up today. So, with a pinch from my past and a scoop from the present, here is a list of things that any self-respecting person should try to adhere to in life and on the ‘web:

1. Don’t piss Natasha off. Okay, that’s just an inside joke from BlogWest, but seriously. Substitute anyone’s name. Don’t piss people off if you don’t want to hear about it. Walk away.
2. Keep private things private. This includes private emails and information shared in confidence. Who cares what happened; the only reason private emails should be shared is if they’ve been subpoenaed in a court of law. Otherwise, keep that shit to yourself. You don’t need to share, especially months or years after the fact. See Point #1, and then walk away.
3. Don’t steal other people’s things. Obviously. We learned that in kindergarten. Written words, photographs, ideas, accolades. Don’t take credit for things you didn’t do. If you ever feel the urge to do this, walk away.
4. Own up. If you do something wrong, own up to it. Don’t make excuses. Tell the truth about why you did what you did. You’re human, you screw up. Don’t weave a bigger lie than the problem you already created. Walk away.
5. Don’t make things up about other people, no matter how much you hate them. Don’t tell people they are mentally unstable, suffering from memory loss, bipolar, off their meds, or any other host of ridiculous BS that is an insult to people who actually suffer from mental illness. Think about how you’d feel if people said that of your family members, and then walk away.
6. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. This goes for breastfeeding/formula, parenting styles, religion, politics, hockey, and any other host of inflammatory subjects. If you don’t have something constructive and unemotional to add, back away. Remember that everyone’s choices were made in the past, and it does no good to judge them on it in the present. Walk. Away.
7. On that note, always remember that it is safer to talk about hockey than it is to talk about breast vs formula. If you aren’t prepare for the backlash, then duck and cover, and then…you guessed it: walk away.
8. Let go of your ego. Not everything is about you, even if you think it is. There is so much going on in social media at lightening speed that there’s bound to be some crossover and coincidence. If someone says it isn’t about you, let it go. It may very well be about you, but if they say it isn’t, that’s their way of saying, “It’s not enough about you for me to engage in this battle.” Walk away.
9. Don’t play the victim. You may be a victim, be it of other’s actions or your own. No one wants to listen to the perpetual victim. Take responsibility for yourself, and move on. Grow. Walk away.
10. Lastly, don’t plead ignorance. Unless you are brand new to the internet and human relationships in general, you can’t pull the “I didn’t know” card. See #4. Saying you’re too young/too hurt/too busy/too whatever to realize there were consequences is like shouting “I DON’T CARE WHO I HURT, I’M JUST MAD I GOT CAUGHT!” from the rooftops. Shut your mouth before you damage your reputation, and walk away.

The end. Now, I’m done with the interwebz until all this drama blows over. My Twitter feed is sad and angry today, and I am sending it love and hugs and unicorn farts until everything is finished. May tonight be full of wine and happiness for all.

I didn't steal this. I found it on Google Images on one of those random "wtf, this isn't a real source" sites. So, that's my photo credit...