The 30 kilometres I ran on July 29 really did me in.

It took me 4 days before I started to feel remotely normal. It messed with my mind, and it messed with my body. It left me feeling anxious and weary about running. I felt like I was coming down with a flu: my joints ached, my head hurt, my skin felt like it was the wrong size for my body. I craved weird foods, and I cried a lot.

I cried a LOT.

I wasn’t post-run sore. I was beaten. I started to feel chest-crushing anxiety when I looked at my training schedule: a mere 9 miles for my next long run, but no running the week after due to my Vegas convention, and then 22 miles the weekend I get back?? Not to mention the increasing mileage each weekday, growing from a few 5k runs to 6-, 7-, and 8-milers.

And the add the mounting obstacles of husbands who work out of town, kids who aren’t going to bed, roads that aren’t jogging-stroller-friendly, injuries that aren’t getting better, other races I want to run, and dance classes that will need to be taught?

Yup. Somehow, this October marathon became an insurmountable goal.

I think one of my biggest errors was throwing in the Moose is Loose. I raced that sucker hard, and then had zero recovery time. I also missed my 15-mile long run two weeks before that because of the extreme heat wave in our area. Add Leith being out of town for the past two weeks, forcing all my weekday runs indoors, and the odds really started to stack against me.

I don’t want to half-ass this marathon. I want to be strong when I go in. I don’t want the mentality of my first marathon to be, “Oh well, at least I finished.” I want it to be like Footstock. I want to stand at the start and know the latest time I’ll finish in. I want to compete with myself, and if I do the full marathon this fall, I won’t be a worthy competitor.

My body can’t take the enormous intensity of back-to-back training this year. If I push it, I’m going to hate it, and I’m going to get hurt.

So, I’m going to pull back. I’m going to keep my endurance up, and run the Rotary Run for Life half marathon here in September, and the Okanagan half marathon in October. I’m going to still enjoy a 4-day weekend in Kelowna, and a scenic race. I’m still going to enjoy my commemorative bottle of wine too

And I’m going to keep running. I love it, and I will protect that love fiercely. I will not allow myself to overtrain and under-love. Next year, I will start the marathon training slow and early. I’ll plan my races earlier so that they fit into my training. I will enjoy the process, and soak in every extra mile.

This year, though? I’m only going to be half-crazy

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