Day two: Words
Trying to find out why I am so very, very tired lately!!
February photo-a-day: Day Two
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Category Archives: kickass2012
January: a month in review
Detox 2012 already has one month in the bag! It’s been a good month, but it went by so quickly…I guess all my dreaming and wishing for Mexico has paid off 
- I started running again – yay!
- I registered for the Footstock 2012 half marathon in June
- I went back to physio for some lovely IMS needles
- I made it to 9 Bikram yoga classes!
- I walked 15.5 hours –> that’s 54.25 miles!
- I made it to 133lbs
- I booked blood work to find out why I am so tired, instead of just ignoring it
- I read Little Bee by Chris Cleave, How to Be an American Housewife by Margaret Dilloway, and started My Life in France by Julia Child (!!)
- Spent a LOT less time yelling and more time breathing
- We went on several family “dates” all together, since Leith was home until January 29
- I took care of myself first, so that I could give my family the best of me
- I cooked and baked a myriad of tasty meals and snacks from scratch, exploring and expanding my creativity
- I spent a weekend with my oldest, dearest friends celebrating milestones
- I played outside with my bugz in this beautiful weather
- I celebrated my mother-in-law’s birthday with our family
- I enjoyed new tea flavours in my mug – a chance to unwind and reflect
- I started counting all the things in my life that I am grateful for
- I spent at least one day a week with friends, letting our kids run wild
And most importantly? I spent most of January as a very, very happy person
Exhaustion
I am tired.
Not just “didn’t get enough sleep last night, chasing my kids today” tired. I am exhausted. There are days that I can barely keep my eyes open when I’m driving in the middle of the day. I can’t figure out why – I’m doing more than enough to keep myself healthy and active:
- I sleep between 8-10 hours a night
- I drink 2-3L of water every day
- I exercise moderately for one hour, every day. Not intensely. Moderately
- I take 4000ui of vitamin D in the winter to make up for the lack of sunshine
- I take the lowest dose of my antidepressant, which has never made me tired before
- I eat an average of 1500-1600kcal/day (more on Bikram days), and very little of it is junk
- I go to yoga twice a week to de-stress
- I write, blog, and journal
- I take time to read and drink tea
- I spend quality time with my husband
- I keep in touch with, and visit friends a couple times a week
- I play outside with my kids
- I only drink one 8oz coffee a day…maybe two on the weekends
- And no, I am 100% not pregnant
For all intents and purposes, I should feel like a million bucks! But instead, I am so. very. tired. most days of the week. I can’t figure it out. I’ve booked some blood work for this week to check my iron levels, and to also do a celiac blood test. I hope that my doctor has some other suggestions as well, because I can’t get over this fatigue.
I hate to say that it’s debilitating, but on mornings like this, I can’t drag myself out of bed until after 10am. I bribe my kids to play quietly in their room or my room. My eyes are so heavy that they ache.
Maybe it’s just my body giving in to the stress from December. Whatever it is, I’d like it to leave quickly so that I can perk back up again!
Counting Up
43. Grilled cheese with apples, and fresh blueberries
44. Another positive celiac test (this time for C-boo), which means that they will both be equally restricted in their diets, instead of C-boo being restricted for the benefit of her sister
45. Holding hands in the car
46. Calves burning against my first run in 4 months
47. His support for my goals – half marathon in June!!
48. Fresh snow crunching under the 4-wheel drive
49. A weekend with my oldest, dearest friends
50. Squeals and hugs and kisses when I pick my bugz up from Grammy and Poppa’s house
51. Strong legs, running
52. Health benefits to pay for physiotherapy!!
53. Safe travels on icy roads
54. Impromptu play dates
55. Shoulder rubs at the end of a long day
56. Fitting into free 29″ jeans
57. Watching them devour fresh fruits
58. Baking cupcakes together after a grumpy morning
59. Sunshine streaming through our kitchen window
60. Watching them learn and problem solve!
61. Dirty dishes to wash…because it means we’ve had food to eat
62. Watching them learn to use scissors (yikes!!)
63. Toasty toes on the furnace vent
64. Orange juice dripping down our chins, smiling together
65. Singing in the car together
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Worth the weight
I haven’t blogged since LAST FRIDAY?? What the heck? I’ll make up for it today though
Running.
That’s why I haven’t been around much. I’m running again!!! It feels so delicious to be busting my tail, heart pounding, legs flying…well, legs turning over and over on the giant hamster wheel that is my 16-year old treadmill, anyway.
I hate such a love-hate for that treadmill. Love, because it gives me 60 minutes of good, solid cardio 5 days a week. Love, because I don’t have to drive into town so that I can run with my Chariot stroller (no shoulders to run on our country roads = not safe for stroller running). My bugz can play and watch a movie while I walk/run.
Hate, because it’s 16 years old, has a short (50″) deck, no cushioning, and is louder than a 747 taking off.
Love, because it was free from my mom.
Hate, because it would cost me $2,500 to get the treadmill I want to replace it.
But I’m running anyway. I am running, training for the Footstock 2012 half marathon in June. You may remember me kicking ass in my first duathlon at Footstock in 2009. I loved the whole event, and want to go back there for my first half marathon. I was supposed to do my first half in late 2009, but with acreage renovations and a broken foot, it didn’t happen.
Then I got fatter and busier, more injured, more stressed, more unbalanced. Half marathon training takes time, and I just didn’t have time. I barely had the time for a 5k once in a while. But fast-forward to this past summer/fall, and my body has learned to run when it’s told to. I’ve found my groove, where I can pick up and run 30 minutes without a break regardless of how long I’ve been “off”.
After 10 weeks of walking 30-60 minutes a day, I picked up the pace on Friday and ran my first 30 minutes since October.
It hurt like hell. My IT-band had been bugging me, and it was my first time running in my Vibrams on this ancient treadmill. I’d ran in my Vs before, both outdoors and on real treadmills, but not on my beast. I compensated too much by getting up on the balls of my feet, and my calves SCREAMED at me for days. I pushed through the last few minutes and finished, but thank goodness for my fabulous physiotherapist, Laurie.
She needled me up with a good dose of IMS on Monday, and I’ve been good to go since. No more pain.
***
Here’s my recipe for the good life right now:
*60 minutes of walking, twice a week
*30 minutes of running, followed by 30 minutes of walking, three times a week
*90 minutes of Bikram yoga, twice a week (three if I’m lucky!!!)
I’ve been walking 30-60 minutes/day since mid-November, and watching what I eat. In mid-December, I started going back to Bikram classes twice a week. I added running back into the mix on Friday. Nothing is crazy-intense or painful (other than the first run), and I’m not restricting anything in my diet. I write down what I eat, and I’m not hungry.
I’ve lost over 15lbs since November 12, 2011. I’m wearing size 29 jeans, and everything else in my closet is falling off of me. I’m officially below my pre-pregnancy weight for the first time since August 2007. Four-and-a-half years. I’m 4 pounds away from my Edmonton Rush dance team body, and I have the most incredible, lean muscle tone from Bikram yoga.
I feel like a million bucks right now. And the best part is that I didn’t starve myself to get here. I took everything in moderation. I ate whatever I wanted between Christmas Eve and New Years’ (within reason), but kept exercising. I made sure that my exercise was moderate, but consistent. I have committed one short hour out of every 24 hours to my fitness. I am mindful of what I am eating, making things worthwhile so that I’m not sacrificing my love of food for short-term satisfaction. Making sure I am full, happy, and energized every day.
It’s worth it.
And I have before pics. I can’t wait to show you the “afters”
2012 is the year of kicking ass. I’m on track in so many areas of my life right now…it feels great!
Counting up
After a week of counting gratitudes, here is my first post on my way to One Thousand Gifts!_uacct = “UA-4888259-1″;urchinTracker();
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| thank you to Ann at www.aholyexperience.com |
(even though it isn’t Monday…)
1. Sneaking back into bed for a half hour nap
2. Watching them perform “ballu-et” every day…not *just* ballet lol
3. A washing machine with a sanitize cycle when tummies are upset!
4. The hum of the furnace, lulling me back to sleep
5. Coconut oil – as a hair mask, face moisturizer, oil for cooking, spread on bread…
6. Hot tea
7. Bright blue skies and sunshine in January
8. Grocery shopping all. by. my. self.
9. Homemade guacamole
10. Fresh cinnamon biscuits, using Gramma’s biscuit recipe
11. Shirley Temples and sparkling princess gowns
12. Finding bed-bugz in my bed!
13. Hearing compliments about how well-behaved our little girls are
14. Early morning tickle fights
15. The chance to work out every day and feel strong
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| Bonus gratitude: that my parent’s 16-year old treadmill still works! |
16. Listening to the songs they make up together
17. Their first dance class
18. Feeling waves of heat wash over my body in the yoga studio
19. Brushing their soft, blonde curls
20. Cafe O Play dates!
21. Watching movies on the couch with him
22. Listening to their excited voices carry across the pool while I watch
23. First swimming lessons
2012: Detox
Here we are, five days into a new year and I haven’t posted once! I’ve been soaking up 2012, finding my ground, doing lots of yoga and spending time on me. I’m in the middle of a three-day stretch with no kids, and I am just breathing life._uacct = “UA-4888259-1″;urchinTracker();
2012 is the year of detox for me: mind, body and soul. It is the year of me, first. I started this little practice in December, because I am not one for New Year’s resolutions. If you can’t do it before Christmas, what makes January 1st so special? No, I started this little experiment while Leith was away, beginning with food and exercise and bringing it up to a higher level with my last post. So here I am, detoxing my entire self for the year:
Mind:
- Fighting those dragons, taking care of my mental health. Not slipping into complacency or false security. Fighting, and winning.
- Spending time at the Bikram yoga studio that I love, so that for 90 minutes, I am in a peaceful and meditative safe zone, only aware of my body and breath at that moment.
- Being mindful of my temper, and also of my heart. Learning to breathe in between action and reaction. Something I was very good at a couple years ago that I have let slip.
- Reading, always reading.
Body:
- I’m down 10lbs since mid-November. Time find that healthy body weight this year, okay? It’s only been 4 years…!
- Food-tracking, because over-eating and unconscious eating is not mindful, and it’s wasteful. 6 weeks (7?) have opened up my eyes to many unnecessary and unhealthy habits and behaviours.
- Exercise, every day. I’ve been walking 60 minutes every day that I’m not at the Bikram studio. Every day. No excuses. Hop on the hamster wheel and go.
- Bikram. Healing my body, opening my body, strengthening my body. Purging the toxins, improving circulation, massaging organs, cleansing.
- Once Kit-kat’s biopsy is done, transitioning our house to a wheat-free zone. Maybe not for Leith, but for me and the bugz. It’s harder to take wheat out of his daytime-diet, and we don’t want him to get sick when he is forced to go away and eat restaurant food in small-town diners. But the house will be healthier than it already is, and the diet will follow us everywhere we go.
- Water, and tea. Two small pleasures to be grateful for
Soul:
- Healing.
- No more drama. No one has permission to bring me their drama. Yes, there is some residual drama in my life, but no one (including me) is allowed to bring me any more drama. Keep it to yourselves, because I am not getting involved.
- Did I mention no drama? Good.
- Learning to trust again, which means building relationships with new people, which means being scared but doing it anyway. Knowing that there must be some good people out there.
- Meditation, reconnecting with God and all the goodness that comes with letting go and following the path laid out for me. I don’t have to do anything this year; I just have to be
So raise your glass of water and join me in this detox. No weird drinks or fasting, I promise Let 2012 be the year of taking care of yourself first, like I am doing. Do it for you so that everything else falls into place.
Let 2012 be the year of taking care of yourself first, like I am doing. Do it for you so that everything else falls into place.Healthy. Happy. Whole.
