Tag Archives: celiac

It’s not all about me

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Repeat after me:

My basic needs are met. I live in a relatively safe and healthy country. Life is a gift. Everything else is a bonus.

Now please, for the love of all that is good in this world, stop acting like you are entitled. You are not.

No one owes you anything. Everyone has their own hardships to bear, and while some are more trying than others, we are all in this together.

And yes, I know where I am coming from. My life is neither easy, nor perfect, but I’m still pretty damn satisfied. I have two major “inconveniences” in my family life: I have twin daughters, and they both have celiac disease. I say “inconvenience” because, in both situations, I see people who seem quite content to use their own issues to entitle themselves to the pity/charity/exceptions of the world around them. They whine and lay blame, complaining that this isn’t fair, that they shouldn’t have to deal with such injustice and discrimination.

For real.

Like a child who thinks that they deserve more presents, or more candy, or more toys, there are adults who think they deserve special treatment because they (or their kids) are different.

For real.

Let me paint you my picture:

I have nearly-five-year old twin daughters. One was planned, and the other was a shocking surprise. We didn’t have the money for two babies, I didn’t have maternity benefits, and my body was not adept at carrying two infants. And yet never, not once, did I complain about the hand I was dealt. Sure, I complained about pregnancy in general. It was 34 weeks of hell!! But I did not complain about the babies that I chose to conceive.

As I immersed myself in the twin community, I was shocked at the number of families that thought that being parents of multiples entitled them to special treatment. I actually heard parents asking why their toddlers BOTH had to pay for swimming lessons (when each child required an adult). I have heard twin parents complain about everything. I know parents who think childcare ought to be two-for-one for their twins, even though singleton siblings pay full price and twins do require a little more work. I’ve heard the same said for diapers, formula, car seats…you name it.

I made up my mind before my babies were born that I would never, ever be an entitled twin parent. I would not be an entitled parent, period. I hate to break it to you, but two babies are two babies. They are not one. They cost as much as two unrelated babies (in most cases; they do get away with sharing some things!). It’s just a fact of having multiples!

To this day, I have never used my kids as an excuse for my shortcomings. Have I used them as an excuse to bail on things? Absolutely. Who hasn’t? My kids are the perfect get-out-of-dinner-free card. But I don’t use the twin card. I don’t want special treatment for me, or for them. The only time I craved that was when I tried to get my annoyingly limousine-length twin stroller through non-automatic doors.

Fast-forward to March 2012. Having survived twinfancy to some degree, both my daughters were diagnosed with celiac disease. This is a very serious, extremely under-acknowledged autoimmune disorder. People don’t give it credit because, unlike an anaphylactic allergy, there isn’t always a visible, physical reaction. But as a parent, I have to be incredibly careful about what my kids eat, down to the crumb. I have to be diligent, reading every label of every food that goes in their mouth, and be hyper-aware of where everything is prepared. I cannot risk cross-contamination with gluten foods. It’s not an allergy; it’s an autoimmune response that destroys their small intestines and causes malnutrition and death. This is not just an upset tummy. It’s a medical condition that comes with a signed, stamped doctor’s letter stating that this is necessary for their survival.

Has it been inconvenient? Hell, yes. I have to plan every outing, even just to family member’s homes. I pack our own food and snacks, or we simply do not eat. When we are out, there are only a scarce handful of “safe” places for us to eat. Do I pitch a fit when restaurants can’t guarantee their food safety for my girls? No. Do I freak out when the pizza restaurant we frequent tells us after 8 months that the chicken we get actually isn’t gluten-free? No. I thank them for telling me now though. When a playground we like doesn’t have gluten-free options, and doesn’t allow outside food, do I lose my ever loving mind at the injustice of it?

No.

And I am so bloody sick and tired of parents (and other adults in general) acting like this is their world, and theirs alone. Acting as though it is their right to demand perfection from others while they froth at the mouth, screaming literally or figuratively that LIFE ISN’T FAIR!!!!

I am so sick of it. And sadly, I find that it’s people with very little to actually fuss about that make the biggest fusses. The people I know who have very high needs children, or who are in high need of assistance themselves are the least likely to freak out over minor inconveniences. They’re the ones who have accepted that this is life and it isn’t going to change.

It’s not anyone’s job to make your life more comfortable. It is, however, up to you to fill your own life with things that make you comfortable. If a business, space, service, or person doesn’t serve your needs, you need to move on. Speak privately, if you need reasonable accommodations made. Don’t shout and scream that life isn’t fair.

Life isn’t fair for anyone. But some of us have learned to live with it, and be quite happy with the differences and challenges presented. At the end of the day, it’s much more liberating and enjoyable to be in control of yourself than to expect others to control the world to your liking.

When I’m cold, I put on a sweater. I don’t curse the Alberta snow and the shorter days. If I’m still cold, I turn up the thermostat. If that fails and my needs still aren’t met, I move somewhere warm and sunny. I make the change that I need to see in my world.

Give it a try. Free yourself from the chains of entitlement. You deserve it.

Treat the Stollery

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It’s Miracle Treat Day today! That means that thousands of people will flock to their local Dairy Queen for a Blizzard treat to support the Children’s Miracle Network. In our area, that means supporting the incomparable Stollery Children’s Hospital.

We’ve made use of the Stollery several times, especially since our twin celiac diagnoses. We also called the Stollery’s cousin, the Royal Alex NICU, home for the first two weeks of our bugz’ lives. This network is near and dear to many friends and families we know.

You would think we’d be first in line for a treat today, especially with a charitable excuse! I love my Blizzards, especially now that they have a mini size – something manageable, rather than gargantuan to treat myself with. But no, we won’t be at DQ today.

Instead, I did what I do every year:

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I sent a text to 45678. Then, a $10 donation to the Stollery hospital will come off my cell phone bill. Done. No junk food necessary.

You see, Treat Day is an awesome reminder for me to donate to the Stollery. It brings awareness to the cause, which I love. What I don’t love is that everyone uses it as an excuse to buy junk food “for a good cause”. Yes, some of your purchase goes to the hospital. But most of it goes to ice cream. And while I love ice cream, I don’t feel obligated to buy it to support the cause.

Instead, I take the $10 I would have spent on ice cream and spend the full amount on the Stollery. And maybe tomorrow, I’ll take my bugz for a treat if we think we deserve it. Or maybe we will go to the park to celebrate that they are healthy thanks to the miracle hospitals in our community.

Ice cream is awesome. The children’s hospital in your community is awesome. I just can’t stand using junk food to support healthy causes. It’s right up the alley of ParticipACTION partnering with Coca-Cola, and McDonald’s sponsoring the Olympics. At the end of the day, it drives profit into fast food corporations under the guise of feeling better about yourself.

There is a healthy choice out there too. Take the awareness, and don’t feel obligated. If you really want a Blizzard today, then you should totally get one and enjoy that you are also helping a good cause. But if you don’t want a Blizzard (or wouldn’t get one anyway), don’t make a special trip. Text “Stollery” to 45678 and get more bang for your buck.

Wavering

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It’s Day Two of the Whole 30. I hate every living minute of it.

I have never, ever, in my whole life wanted to quit something so quickly.

I hate it. Yes, the food is tasty. Whatever. It’s not satisfying at all. At. All.

My reasons for doing this were varied:

  • Of course weight loss is always a little bit nice. I haven’t been able to break 135lbs, but I also haven’t been trying.
  • I like the paleo food lifestyle. We can’t eat gluten-y grains, and we avoid most dairy anyway. This provided some structure, which was much-needed and much-wanted.
  • I love doing stupid challenges, like my sugar fast. I wanted to see if I could do it.
  • I wanted to feel better.

But guess what? The Whole 30 is a HUGE, SUDDEN CHANGE, even for someone who eats 90% gluten/dairy-free already. The physical act of cooking and eating the super-strict Whole 30 food isn’t what’s hard. It’s the mental commitment to it.

You see, I’m already pushing my brain beyond it’s happy place with my marathon training. I have to run 18 miles this Sunday, and I have some serious mental energy that needs to unblock before then. This year’s training is taking more mental commitment than anything I’ve ever done.

I also have a husband who has been gone since Saturday, and now won’t be home until August 2nd. He was supposed to be home today. Surprise!!

There’s also the timing on top of the mental stress. I am going away for the August long weekend with two celiac kids. I already need to plan for their food, and I don’t know if I want the added stress of bringing my own food too. Plus, it’s kind of imposing and rude to my hostess (even though she’s a beautiful, accommodating soul). The morning after we get back, I leave for 5 days in Las Vegas. I’ll be dancing from 9-5 every day, plus three training runs. I’ll have a tight schedule around meal times, and I’ll be at a hotel the whole time. The hotel is at the edge of town – no time for grocery store trips or anything like that.

That, my friends, is 8 solid days of food stress. On top of travel stress, on top of training stress.

I honestly don’t think I can do this right now. I actually feel anxious about eating. THAT is not healthy. I actually want to CRY. It’s pathetic. I don’t want to run out and get a Blizzard and a bottle of wine. I just don’t want to feel trapped and anxious!

I’m a healthy person! I’m not overweight, and I’m very active. I have no discernible health concerns. This isn’t a do-or-die nutrition situation. But I have to stop and wonder: am I having trouble because of all the other stress it’s causing, or because I really need to do this for my body. Is this just withdrawal/cleanse, and I need to push through it? Or is it just BS and I need to take the warning signs and walk away, try again later?

And it’s not like I’ve been starving. I’ve eaten LOTS – at least 2000kcal each day for the past two days. But I’m forcing it in, and I’m still not getting nearly enough carbohydrates to support my training.

Ugh.

I don’t like quitting, and I quit too often. But it’s not worth the struggle right now. Even if I woke up tomorrow and it was an easy day, it’s not worth it right now.

I can go gluten-free and dairy-free. I can’t do this Whole 30 right now. So while the title of this post is “Wavering“, what it really means is “Quitting“.

I need some breathing room right now. I can’t do food guilt. I need to just eat and train and dance and run that marathon in October!

So, Whole 30? I quit.

Whole 30 – Week One

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My meal plans are set out for the next seven days! Today and tomorrow are my farewell-to-grain days, as I am preparing for the Moose is Loose half marathon in the morning. Monday morning is the start of my Whole 30 Challenge!!

Breakfasts:

  • Egg muffins with spinach, sausage, onion, and pepper
  • Ground turkey with onion, kale, and apples
  • Shredded chicken with yam/carrot/onion hash
  • Sausages with sweet potato hash brown cakes
  • Omelette with spinach, onion, peppers
  • Apples with almond butter, hard boiled eggs, left-over asparagus
  • Shredded chicken with apples, onions and carrots

Lunches:

  • Spinach salad with tuna, avocado, peppers, and cucumber
  • Spinach salad with salmon, red onion, capers, and olives
  • Peppers stuffed with tuna, carrots, peppers, avocado, mayonaise
  • Shredded chicken, sweet potatoes, fruit
  • Omelette with sausage, kale, and asparagus
  • Left-over beef roast with kale, onion, green beans and sweet potato
  • Left-over beef stew with apples, carrots, sweet potatoes, and onion

Dinners:

  • Spaghetti squash with ground beef, diced tomatoes, spinach, onions, and peppers
  • Beef roast with kale, onion, carrots, sweet potatoes, and green beans
  • Beef stew with apples, carrots, sweet potatoes and onion
  • Turkey chili with tomatoes, onions, and kale
  • Cauliflower pizza dough with sausage, onion, tomatoes, and peppers
  • Sausages with onions, apples, kale, and cucumber salad
  • Crustless spinach quiche

I’ll be honest: looking at my meal plan, the estimated cost of groceries for this week terrified me! Nothing but fresh produce and meat! And this is my first week of living on cash only! What if it was more than the $200 I allotted us??

I had a handful of the ingredients already (5 peppers, green beans, cucumbers, riced cauliflower, diced tomatoes, almond butter, and capers) but I needed to buy everything else. When the cashier at Superstore finished ringing up my items, I was shocked!


Shocked!!!

Now, I still need 2 rotisserie chickens (those are my lazy-protien days ;) ) and a spaghetti squash, so my final total will be closer to $150. I’m sure I could do a little better on the produce if I went to H&W Produce, but I didn’t want to make 2 trips into the city today.

Not bad, hey? And this is for ALL FOUR of us!

Switching to gluten-free grain flours and products bumped my monthly food bill from $600/month to $850. It kills me to spend $4-8 on a loaf of bread. This will take a huge chunk off that total, AND it will also keep Leith from buying lunch every day. $8-10 a day, 5 days a week?? That’s another $200 a month saved right there!

I am so excited, and my mouth is watering just looking at the menu. I can’t wait to start…48 hours to go!

The No’s: any grains/rice/quinoa, seeds (including peas and corn), soy, dairy, legumes, sugar, caffeine (other than tea), and alcohol

I can’t wait to share the results with you :)

The Whole 30 Plunge

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I’m a little bit excited, a whole lot nervous, and very indecisive about when to start…

I read a great book this past week, in keeping with two other foodie books I read this past year. The first was Wheat Belly. This was my insight into the problems caused by eating grain. I needed to understand more about celiac and gluten, and this was a great resource.

From there, I moved onto Robb Wolf’s paleo bible, The Paleo Solution. It was another interesting read, but quite frankly, I didn’t like his tone. It was too casual and condescending for me. I know too many of “those types” from my fitness background. But I liked the material and the theories. Between that and Wheat Belly, it all made sense.

But of course, I like dairy and I love wine.

Unfortunately, 6 weeks into my naturopathic journey, I still feel blah despite strengthening my adrenal system and trying to improve my quality of sleep. I’ve thought about doing another sugar fast, and other than two oversights, I have been gluten free for all of July.

That’s when Laurie pointed me in the direction of It Starts With Food. It’s another paleo-style book, but I found a greater connection to the why: why I shouldn’t be eating dairy, or legumes, or grains. It also lays out a great 30-day purge, if you will, to challenge you to eat within Paleolithic nutritional guidelines and what to expect.

More importantly? It didn’t end with 30 days of meal plans. I hate meal plans. I won’t follow them, and I know that my family won’t follow them. I’ve tried to get eggs into my kids at breakfast. Not. Happening.

But guidelines? Perfect! Help me implement a lifestyle, instead of follow a chart! That I can do. I need that kind of flexibility.

I already know that nutritionally, I have something funky going on. My celiac test came back negative, but I feel better when I follow my girls’ celiac diet. One of the next steps my naturopath wants to take is eliminating dairy. Between those two, I’m halfway there already, so why not take the full Whole 30 plunge?

I just can’t narrow down the when. You see, there’s nothing stopping me from starting tomorrow. The problem lies in my Vegas trip in just under 3 weeks. I know that it will be a hard thing to follow while staying in a hotel, revolving around a conference schedule. I don’t know how easy it will be (time- or convenience-wise), and I don’t want to set myself up for failure.

What would you do? Would you commit to the full 30 days, and hope for the best for 5 days in Vegas? Or would you wait until you got back and just make small changes in the meantime?

I really want to try this. I want to buckle my diet down to good food that my body was designed to digest. I am SO sick of feeling sick and tired and unwell. I’m tired of feeling achy, dehydrated, sore, swollen, and inflamed with no discernible cause.

I’m giving myself until Monday to (decide to) start. My next half marathon is this Sunday, and I don’t want to change anything right before a race. But in the meantime, I’d love some feedback. And, if you’d like to join me, I’d love to have a team to survive with ;)

Homemade Gluten-free Failures

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Well, that was disgusting.

The thought that ran through my head as I finished eating a piece of my latest disaster…

This whole new celiac lifestyle has thrown my kitchen for a loop. I just can’t see to find from-scratch recipes that are consistently tasty, nor can I figure out how to modify my existing recipes.

Tonight, for example:

At first glance, it looks beautiful. But this bread normally resembles a round, crusty sourdough loaf instead of a crumbly biscuit disc. It’s the simplest of recipes: flour, water, yeast, salt. Mix, rise, form balls, rise, bake. My friend has successfully substituted quinoa flour and soaked chia seeds for the regular wheat flour. I did the same.

It failed.

A) It didn’t rise. It poufed a little in the bowl, but that’s it. It definitely didn’t rise a second time.

B) It tastes like dirt. Oh, so very gross. So very…quinoa. I had to drown it in almond butter and jam to destroy the flavour, and now I have a very distinctive quinoa aftertaste in my mouth.

Yuck.

I have found a great pizza crust mix, a great pancake mix, and a great bread mix in the celiac/gluten-free sections of our supermarket. I’ve even found decent brownie and chocolate chip cookie mixes.

But from scratch? I quit. It took me 28 years to learn how to love cooking and baking, and the last 4 months have single-handedly destroyed my desire to even try anymore. This sucks :(

Hey, May!

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May is going to be awesome. I know this because:

  • Leith got called out to Ft MacMurray for 3 weeks today. This would normally throw me into a fetal position, but with our financial diet in full gear, 21 days of 12-hr shifts sounds pretty good to us!! Hello, overtime!!
  • His office did fix the paperwork screw up, so we did get paid in full…which means all my bills will be paid today – yay!!
  • I get to pick up my bugz’ first dance pictures this week
  • I’m going to see my bestest Suzi this weekend for a training run in Cochrane, just 4 weeks before the Footstock half marathon!
  • I get to buy new underwear!! Woohoo!
  • May means almost summer, which means PLANTING MY GARDEN!!! The nursery in my living room is getting out of control…
  • The start of morning coffees out on our deck :)
  • Erin is going to have her baby this month!
  • The greenhouses are in full swing, which means I can go and get all my beautiful flowers for my yard soon!
  • It’s Celiac Awareness Month
  • I have a new treadmill to play with, and it’s oh-so-beautiful
  • I get to keep Shredding, which is giving me oh-so-beautiful arms ;)
  • There’s sunshine everywhere, and long daylight hours for playing outside
  • I’m thisclose to getting my devil IUD ripped out!
  • I can buy groceries at the farmers’ markets soon – outside! In the sun!
  • The first baby wearing walk of the year is on May 23
  • We will be celebrating our 5-year anniversary on May 25 – so far, so very good

Although we’re guaranteed to have a few ups and downs, I’d say we have a lot to look forward to this month!

What are you excited for in May?

March: a month in review

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Oh, what a month March was! I am still shaking my head that we are 2 days into April already…

Highest highs, a few bumpy lows, and lots of wonderful growth this spring:

A farewell to wheat

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The time has come for our goodbye to a troublesome family member. That innocuous, smiling cousin who causes too much drama, but hides behind sugar-coated smiles. Who makes us sick to our stomachs, but that we invite back time and time again.

Oh, wheat. You’re such a jerk.

Today marks 2 weeks since the bugz have been off wheat. The improvement has been remarkable for such a short period of time! The only complaints of tummy aches have been the attention-grabbing kind – the kind reserved for picky eaters who don’t want to try new foods ;) Surprisingly, those tummy aches go away when the other choice is bedtime…!

Leith and I have been more moderate in our change over. There were a few bagels left over in the fridge, and I accidentally bought regular banana bread at the store. I thought it was gluten-free (because it was in the freezer…by other gluten-free things…), but fortunately, I read the label at home and discovered my error before the girls had any. I’ve also had the odd treat scarfed down when their backs were turned, and Leith has bought his lunch when he’s at work.

But today? Today is the end of wheat for me. Our house is officially emptied of wheat, and there is no turning back. I’ve already noticed a response in my own body when I have occasionally had wheat in the last week: quickly feeling groggy, bloated, and a little bit sick. While my own celiac tests were negative, it goes to show that there is something up about how the body tolerates this little grain.

When the bugz tested positive for celiac, we decided that our house would be wheat-free rather than trying to keep food separate and constantly explain why Mommy and Daddy could eat something, but the girls could not. I knew that there was a health shift towards removing wheat in people with no diagnosed wheat sensitivities, and I had no problem with being “forced” to eat healthier.

Wheat and sugar have been my downfall for as long as I can remember. I tried to cut added sugar out of my diet last spring, and with it came a lot of wheat. It was ridiculously hard, but I spent a greater percentage of my calories on whole fruits and vegetables, meats, cheeses, and very little baked or processed foods. I dropped weight like crazy, but it was the withdrawal that hurt me! It was all-consuming. I lost sleep, I was irritable, I was tired. My lifestyle was also too hectic for such an abrupt change; I’d failed to look at the necessary planning required to be successful.

Fast-forward a year, and I am ready. I am in a place where we have to make a change, or my kids will suffer innumerable health consequences. Celiac is not something that you can be cavalier about; it’s not like there’s a epi-pen they can carry in their back pockets in case of exposure. It’s a long, painful, drawn-out process of their digestive system failing – and not from a piece of bread. It’s from crumbs, and surprising wheat-filled additives in otherwise innocent foods.

I’m also in a place of knowledge this time, and knowledge is power. Having read and researched the implications of wheat in the diet for the past 3 months, I feel confident in my decision to remove it, as well as how to remove it and what to replace it with. Yes, there are a lot of gluten-free cereals, breads, treats and other conveniences available now. However, as our bodies are only really designed to eat seeds (grains) in limited quantities, it doesn’t make sense to replace one grain with another. Instead, we’re moving towards a more Paleo-inspired diet, rather than a modern, engineered diet.

Paleo? Despite the hype, it’s quite simple: meats, vegetables, fruits. Limited grain, seeds and legumes. Some dairy, but limited again. Basically, just enough dairy and grain to make life convenient, rather that having it dominate our fridge. Oh, and no junk: no additives, added sugar, flavours, etc. Just real food. The ultimate in clean eating.

Don’t get me wrong: this is a HUGE shift in our lifestyle. Wheat dominates almost every aspect of our grocery shopping, baking, and cooking, so this is ridiculously far-reaching. I’ve had to strip down everything I am used to doing in my kitchen and cross-check, rethink, look up, and relearn. It’s exhausting, but worth it. Once I’m past the mental drain of so much new, it will be life as usual.

In the meantime, I’ve started another blog to chronicle the journey. You can follow along at MagzD Gluten-Free. It’s a place to try out recipes, report on their successes and failures, and to provide support and resources. It’s my gluten-free, wheat-free journal.

In the meantime, here are some great resources that have made this transition easier for us:

Gluten-free funk

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I love to cook. I love to bake. I love to explore and experiment, and I love to eat.

I used to hate cooking. I was the Queen of Lean Cuisine! I worked in restaurants so I could eat takeout for 50% off…my how times have changed! Now I do everything from scratch, for goodness’ sake!!

So this whole celiac thing has thrown me for a loop. What a learning curve!! It isn’t that it’s a hard transition – our kitchen is cleaned out and sanitized and decontaminated. Our pantries are stocked with everything gluten-free…

However!

Gluten-free does not equal gluten-y. Even if it says “all-purpose baking mix”, you cannot just toss it into your flour tortilla recipe.

You. Will. Fail.

So my three years of stockpiling culinary capades and altering them to fit my tastes has been for naught. I’ve got nothing.

So here I am, armed with $105 of gluten-free flours, starches and gums. I’ve got online resources, shelves of cookbooks, and all the support in the world. I’ve got a week of experimentation ahead, and a lifetime to discover…

Yet instead of feeling hopeful, I’ll be frank: I’m overwhelmed. I bought some Udi gluten-free snicker doodles and took my bugz to Boston Pizza for a gluten-free lunch.

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It was sooooo good!! And my icky-picky bugz ate every crumb!

So while I mourn the loss of my gooey, sticky breads and cakes, I have a new gastronomic journey to embark on. Maybe it will be the birth of a MagzD Gluten-Free blog…who knows.

All I know is that it can only go up from here. And “here” is a pile of grainy crumbs on the bottom of a baking pan.

Help…??