There are two things in this world that I absolutely will not do:
- Buy no-name Q-tips.
- Put baked beans in chilli
Fake q-tips are like pipe cleaners. Baked-bean chilli is like campfire sludge. Use of either is wrong and punishable in my household.
Yet tonight, I put baked beans in my chilli. I’m disgusted, disappointed, and dejected by this. I had the meat cooking, the tomatoes and corn simmering, and the pantry drawer pulled open to discover…no beans.
Not a bean in the house.
Not kidneys, or garbanzos, or blacks. Not even a dried navy bean in the cupboard.
No beans, except for a couple of cans of baked beans with pork and molasses.
Now, on their own (and occasionally with a few cut-up hotdogs ) I really like baked beans. But there are just some things that are not allowed in chilli. One is mushrooms, especially canned, sliced mushrooms. The other?
Nothing makes a hearty, spicy, flavourful chilli boring and mushy like some good ol’ baked beans.
Nothing screams, “CAMPFIRE! SMOKE! PEEING IN THE WOODS!” like baked beans.
Nothing cries, “LUNCHLADY HAMBURGER HELPER SPECIAL OF THE DAY!!” like baked beans.
Nothing makes my seriously awesome chilli more shameful than baked beans.
And there you have it.
Baked beans in my chilli. I did it. And I’m not proud.